Keep Calm...

I don't know about y'all, but I CAN NOT WAIT for summer to get here... I am sick of the cold, windy and rainy weather.  I am ready to throw on the shorts and flip flops and enjoy the beach, cold beer, and good company!  Although I do enjoy the winter for many reasons (Christmas, snowboarding, cozy fires, etc.) summer really is my FAVOURITE season.

So to get me extra excited for the many things summer brings along with it, I thought I would dedicate a post to my summer adventures for 2012.. I guess a small bucket list for Summer 2012 :)

Here is a list of the mini adventures I hope to embark on :)

Country Concerts

Outdoor dinner parties

Road Trips

Beach days

Drive-in Movies

New bikini's

Beach cruising

Boating at sunset

Cottage Days

Baseball Games :)

BE DARING!

Finally home from my 40 hour work week and I am one happy girl!  This day dragged on for what seemed like FOREVER!!!  It didn't help that the weather was beautiful outside and I was stuck staring at a computer screen inside for 8 hours.. AARRGGG!!!

Anywho, whenever the weather warms up my mind tends to wander to adventure and spontaneity so I decided to write a blog about things I can do that are daring...

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all." -Helen Keller



Crowd surf at a concert.

"You only live once but if you do it right, once is enough." -Mae West

Jump out of an airplane.

"Do one thing everyday that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Book a last minute trip while at the airport.

"Buy the ticket, take the ride."

Ride a motorbike.

"Actions express priorities." -Gandhi

Take sexy photos.

"If I'd followed all the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere." -Marilyn Monroe

Get a tattoo.

"One who makes no mistakes, makes nothing at all." -Giacomo Casanova

So, I started this post Friday after work and it is now Sunday night and I have to get my mind mentally prepared for another 40 hour work week.. EEKKKKK!!!  But at least now I can daydream about my daring adventures I am determined to fulfil.  Some I have done once but it will not hurt to do again.. :)

Here are two last quotes to leave you with... bye for now!

"Never worry about the future, it comes soon enough" -Albert Einstein


"DO MORE!"

Curve ball...

These last few weeks I have been trying to figure out what to blog about... I have had a lot going on in my life but really wasn't sure what to share and what to keep to myself.  This is usually my outlet to vent and feel more free... but I am sometimes scared to write how I feel.. in fear that how I feel will predict the future outcomes....

In the last few weeks I have been kinda down and, to be honest, scared to death.  I received some news that could have gone one of two ways... good or bad... Luckily, my fate has decided this is not my time to suffer... 

I was having some health issues that I decided to address.  In the search to find out what was wrong with me, it was discovered that I had a large mass growing inside of my stomach.  An ultrasound that was done to discover one thing found something totally unrelated but definitely worth examining further... 

Now, if you have read my blog, you will know that in the past I had a cyst that ended up being cancerous and a close call... well, to hear the news of a "large mass attached to my abdomen" you can imagine how I may have felt... I had to wait a week to have a CT scan to find out more... The CT scan of course fell on a Friday so I had to wait the weekend to find out my destiny... the wait may have been the hardest part...

FINALLY the results came in and I was blessed with good news.  The cyst, that is the size of a grapefruit, appears to have no connection to my past medical history... PHEWWW!!!  This cyst, although big in size, presents much differently than the one found on my back years ago... The doctor says this is a good sign.... 

Just as a precaution, I am seeing a surgical cancer team in London to get a second opinion and to see how I should proceed... but my gut tells me I am going to be just fine.  

I want to say THANK YOU!!  To all those who knew what I was going through these past few weeks and who were there to support me.  I am not good with words and I have a hard time showing emotion but I appreciate each and every one of you!  THANK YOU!!!!

I also want to say a special shout out to a family friend who may have a much different destiny... she is THE strongest, most beautiful soul I know and I am happy to have had the opportunity to know her.  She is one of a kind and deserves the world.  I ask that anyone who reads this, says a little prayer for her!!  You are beautiful inside and out!  xoxo

The fork in the road...

"Live in the present and make it so beautiful it is worth remembering!" - Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)

10 years from now, where will I be?  Will I have a full time teaching job?  Will I have one or two (max) kids?  OR will I still be stressing about the FUTURE!!!  Ahhhh!  I hate to be one of those people who can't just sit back and enjoy the ride... but lately, that is who I have become.  Instead of enjoying the present, I am getting too caught up in the future.

I was hired on as an occasional teacher this past spring which is a great start to a teaching career... BUT, along with me being hired, about 500 others were hired as well... needless to say, the journey to permanent is going to be a long one :(  Luckily (for now) I am working a full time job as well as supplying. The positive to this is the steady flow of income.  The negative is not being able to volunteer in schools and getting my name out there.  And it is quite known around here that the only way you are getting an interview for a long term position is if you put the face time in.  Totally understandable... but some of us need the money as well... such a dilemma!

When I first graduated teachers college I was afraid that maybe this wasn't exactly the career I wanted.. but after supplying in the classroom I knew it was precisely where I was suppose to be.  My goal is to teach, then become a special education teacher, and ultimately work for the board developing curriculum for students with special needs.  Having these three goals in mind, I know what I must do to get there.  Come September I need to focus on taking any necessary steps to reach my goals.  So I have decided I will volunteer, supply, and tutor.  I may not have the steady income I am use to but I will gain the experience and the contacts that will help me reach my goals.

The future can seem scary and intimidating.  Especially when you don't set realistic goals for yourself.  I would stay awake worrying about the future of my career because I felt I had no real direction.  This blog post has helped me sort through my thoughts and figure out my course of action!

Now that I have set goals and made a blueprint on what needs to be done to achieve them, I feel lighter!

My husband says that if I had it my way, I would be a professional student!  Which is probably true.. I love learning new knowledge and skills that will help me be better in whatever it is I do.  Just yesterday I told him I wanted to go back to school to get my Masters in Speech Pathology...  But after sitting down and thinking about it, I decided to try one path first and if that path takes a wrong turn and isn't what I expected, there is always a time and place to choose a new path.

Sorry if this blog is all over the place... that is how I have been feeling lately and needed somewhere to vent and get it all out... Thanks for listening and wish me luck!!!

Come on Spring!!! :)

Ok, so for those of you who know me, I do LOVE snow!  But this winter has given us a pretty mild season.  It has snowed only a handful of times.. heck, it's rained more than snowed!!  So, if old man winter is not going to show his face at this point, I would rather him just disappear because I am READY for a new wardrobe!  A spring wardrobe!

Here is a sneak peak to the outfits I hope to find and put together by spring :)

Love everything about this.. splash of colour, shoes, cross body bag.. EVERYTHING!

Crop jeans are definitely a staple in my spring wardrobe!

Cute dresses + booties = LOVE!

Lots of colour!

Stripes, flats, crops, colour!!

Denim shirt with cute skirts!

White blazer with red pants.. AMAZING!

My spring hair-do!

50/50

I just finished watching the movie 50/50.  I had heard some good reviews on it from both friends and family so I thought that a lazy afternoon was the perfect time to watch it.  For those of you who have never seen or heard of it, it is a story about a 27 year old man who is diagnosed with fibrosarcoma cancer.  This form of cancer is rare and presents as a tumour.  I am very familiar with the term because back when I was finishing high school, I was diagnosed with the same thing.

I was 18 years old when I discovered a lump on my right shoulder.  It started the size of a marble and grew to the size of an eight ball in weeks.  I had this lump removed and after they sent it away, it was discovered that this lump was a malignant fibrosarcoma... in other words, CANCER!

For those of you who knew me then, cancer scared the heck out of me.  As a kid, after watching Party of Five, I was convinced I had cancer.  I would go see the doctor monthly for checkups because it was the only way I could get a good nights sleep.  Needless to say, after finding out the diagnosis, I was a mess!  Everything happened fast after my first visit to the oncologist in London.  I had a second surgery planned almost immediately.  Luckily, the doctor's were able to get it all out and felt that it was not needed for me to undergo radiation or chemotherapy at the time.   It has now been 10 years since and I have had no signs of this returning.  

I was lucky for so many reasons.  I was lucky that the tumour was visible and not deep inside where it wasn't noticeable.  I was lucky that I caught it quick.  But I was extremely lucky to have the most amazing family who supported me through it all.  I have seen many more cases of fibrosarcoma over the years.  All who have had a much harder struggle then I have.  Thankfully, they have all lived to tell about it.  :)

I am thankfully that my journey was short and that my family was by my side through it all.  We hear the saying "Life is short!" all the time.  But when you go through something like cancer, you realize that life really is short and anything can happen tomorrow.  So make sure you make the most out of life.  Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you.  Because when the road gets rough, these are the people who will help you through it.

So.. I want to say thank you to my mom, dad, Arron, Cydney, and Zoe.  Not only did most of you attend almost every single appointment I had, you were there for me in ways I can't even express.  I love you guys so much and am happy I was born into such an incredible family.   THANK YOU!!!

Re-la-tion-ships

Working with mostly females,  the topic of relationships comes up A LOT!  I feel I am a pretty good listener and can offer some advice although I try not to push my views on anyone.  I realized a long time ago that a person has to realize truths for themselves.  Someone can tell you over and over again that "you deserve better" or "that guy is bad news", but it isn't until you want to accept the truth that you will believe those words.  It's funny how a guy can make you feel like a princess one day and a bag of trash the next.  To me, it seems that it would be common sense to get rid of the a-hole.. yet girls justify the jerk behaviour because they remember the "good times" they had.  I've been in a few relationships like that and am thankful that I have been able to learn from those mistakes and see that I deserve better.  Luckily, I now have the BEST ;)

But to get to the best, I had to go through some rough times.  I don't regret any of the people I dated because each one of them taught me a lot about myself and what I wanted for my future.  I have some amazing memories and some not so great ones.  I have been all kinds of crazy... haha... But it really does take experience to realize how much better it can be.  In past relationships, when things would start to go sour, I convinced myself it was just a phase and would try to make the other person remember the good times.  I would try to make them be that person they once were.  But for whatever reason, people change.  At the time, I probably would have said they changed for the worse.. but that is probably not the truth.  The truth is people change and grow apart... it's just a part of life.

Ok, here are four of the most common topics that come up when my co-workers and girlfriends vent to me about their relationships.... and here is what I have to say to them...

#1- If a guy only wants to hang out with you Sunday-Thursday... DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!  Don't even think twice!  This guys is a player and wants to have his fun on the weekends but also wants to know he has someone there during his chill times.. NOT COOL!  He should want you to be there for the fun times and the down times.

#2- If a guy tells you he loves you and loves spending time with you but he needs some time to himself.. DO NOT get scared away.  This is perfectly normal and healthy.  Everyone needs time alone and some need it more than others.  When you are spending all your time together, when will you ever have time to do laundry, personal grooming, cleaning, or just doing the things you love??

#3- Just because you have been cheated on in the past doesn't mean it will happen in the future.  I understand that it may take a little more time trusting a new relationship but don't let this issue run away a great guy.  A guy is only willing to put up with the jealousy and insecurities for so long.  If he is always having to convince you that he loves you and would never hurt you, he will grow tire of it and may not stick around.  I think it is important to make him aware of your past so he understands but give this one a chance.  If he shows signs of being unfaithful, then LEAVE HIM!

#4- Dishonestly sucks.  Over the years I have seen my friend's boyfriends lie to them about silly things because they are afraid that they will get in trouble for telling the truth.  It sucks for the guy because what they are doing is sometimes totally harmless but they don't want to start a fight so they avoid the truth.  BUT... what ends up happening, the girlfriend finds out the truth and now this "harmless" act has turned into something MUCH bigger.  I think everyone needs to be honest in a relationship.  Even if it might cause a little fight now, you are avoiding a much larger one later if the truth comes out.  And believe me, I have seen that most times the truth does come out eventually.

We live in a world with BILLIONS of people.  So just because one guy doesn't treat you with the utmost respect, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there that will.  We have a world of possibilities and a world full of some pretty incredible people.  Relationships can sometimes be hard but when you find the right person, the hard seems easy.  Find someone who makes you feel AMAZING.. Someone who you can be yourself around, be silly with, and someone who makes you strive to be better...  Everyone deserves to love and be loved.. don't settle for anything less!