Re-la-tion-ships

Working with mostly females,  the topic of relationships comes up A LOT!  I feel I am a pretty good listener and can offer some advice although I try not to push my views on anyone.  I realized a long time ago that a person has to realize truths for themselves.  Someone can tell you over and over again that "you deserve better" or "that guy is bad news", but it isn't until you want to accept the truth that you will believe those words.  It's funny how a guy can make you feel like a princess one day and a bag of trash the next.  To me, it seems that it would be common sense to get rid of the a-hole.. yet girls justify the jerk behaviour because they remember the "good times" they had.  I've been in a few relationships like that and am thankful that I have been able to learn from those mistakes and see that I deserve better.  Luckily, I now have the BEST ;)

But to get to the best, I had to go through some rough times.  I don't regret any of the people I dated because each one of them taught me a lot about myself and what I wanted for my future.  I have some amazing memories and some not so great ones.  I have been all kinds of crazy... haha... But it really does take experience to realize how much better it can be.  In past relationships, when things would start to go sour, I convinced myself it was just a phase and would try to make the other person remember the good times.  I would try to make them be that person they once were.  But for whatever reason, people change.  At the time, I probably would have said they changed for the worse.. but that is probably not the truth.  The truth is people change and grow apart... it's just a part of life.

Ok, here are four of the most common topics that come up when my co-workers and girlfriends vent to me about their relationships.... and here is what I have to say to them...

#1- If a guy only wants to hang out with you Sunday-Thursday... DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!  Don't even think twice!  This guys is a player and wants to have his fun on the weekends but also wants to know he has someone there during his chill times.. NOT COOL!  He should want you to be there for the fun times and the down times.

#2- If a guy tells you he loves you and loves spending time with you but he needs some time to himself.. DO NOT get scared away.  This is perfectly normal and healthy.  Everyone needs time alone and some need it more than others.  When you are spending all your time together, when will you ever have time to do laundry, personal grooming, cleaning, or just doing the things you love??

#3- Just because you have been cheated on in the past doesn't mean it will happen in the future.  I understand that it may take a little more time trusting a new relationship but don't let this issue run away a great guy.  A guy is only willing to put up with the jealousy and insecurities for so long.  If he is always having to convince you that he loves you and would never hurt you, he will grow tire of it and may not stick around.  I think it is important to make him aware of your past so he understands but give this one a chance.  If he shows signs of being unfaithful, then LEAVE HIM!

#4- Dishonestly sucks.  Over the years I have seen my friend's boyfriends lie to them about silly things because they are afraid that they will get in trouble for telling the truth.  It sucks for the guy because what they are doing is sometimes totally harmless but they don't want to start a fight so they avoid the truth.  BUT... what ends up happening, the girlfriend finds out the truth and now this "harmless" act has turned into something MUCH bigger.  I think everyone needs to be honest in a relationship.  Even if it might cause a little fight now, you are avoiding a much larger one later if the truth comes out.  And believe me, I have seen that most times the truth does come out eventually.

We live in a world with BILLIONS of people.  So just because one guy doesn't treat you with the utmost respect, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there that will.  We have a world of possibilities and a world full of some pretty incredible people.  Relationships can sometimes be hard but when you find the right person, the hard seems easy.  Find someone who makes you feel AMAZING.. Someone who you can be yourself around, be silly with, and someone who makes you strive to be better...  Everyone deserves to love and be loved.. don't settle for anything less!