Surrounded by love...

It's crazy how at one point in your life you can feel so lost and think that you will never find your way... your purpose. Then all of a sudden, one day you wake up and you are looking at the world differently.  You realize that that lost puppy you once were has found it's place.

For awhile I used my blog as an outlet to vent.. a way to try and find myself.  It was encouraging to know that I was not alone in this unfamiliar place.  Many people wrote me kind emails and messages thanking me for the posts for they too were feeling slightly lost.  I think sometimes when we get stuck in this place, we feel like we are alone and no one truly understands.  But the truth is, no matter who you are, you have been here before and most of us can relate. 

I hate to say it but I sometimes feel sad for humanity.  People are so quick to judge and make opinions.  I myself have had people in my life judge me for things they never would fully understand. I use to care and sometimes I still get a little insecure but then a friend sent me the quote posted below and it made me open my eyes a little wider and realize that if I'm comfortable with who I am, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says.  

Life is like a puzzle and I finally feel like my pieces are finding its place.  I am unique.  I am different.  We all are.  I love taking and posting photos.... once I start working out, I become obsessed... I can be immature and act silly... I am a big kid... my favourite piece of clothing is a boy's sweatshirt... I would rather listen to vinyl then anything else... I drink wine at least 3 nights a week... I cry almost every time I finish a book... If i could, I would eat cereal for every meal... My family is the most important to me... I'm a homebody... I wish Neverland was a real place... I have a weird obsession with zombies... I am very competitive in almost everything I do... and my cat is one of my best friends... 

All these things and more make me who I am and I am proud of the person I have become.  I try hard to be the best version of myself and to be kind to everyone I meet.  It is easy to get caught up in the drama and gossip but I have been making a conscious effort to stay out of it.  It is poisonous to our well being and not worth it.  

I have realized over the past few months how important it is to surround yourself with the right people.  The people that will bring you up and help you be the best you.  This past weekend I hung out with some of my favourite people.  I had an amazing weekend filled with laughter, excitement, and unforgettable memories.  There was not one bit of drama... not one negative comment.  It was a perfect weekend.  I feel like I am lucky to have these people surround me and I look forward to many more memories...  And yes, I probably will take photos of those memories because that is who I am and I am not ashamed of it.  One day I can look back and have a journal of pictures that will make me smile because I was surrounded by love!

Thank Kristin :)

My happy place :)

Since returning from my week vacation in California, I feel refreshed and extremely happy.  I finally feel like I am at a spot in my life I want to be and stay for a long time.  I have always had an appetite to travel and try new things.  Since a young age my imagination has ran wild and I think it truly dictated the life I wished to live as I grew older. 

This year I turn 30 and I have been married for three years so you can only imagine how often I hear from people, "When are you going to have kids?".   If you had asked me this question even a year ago, I would have said never.  But I am slowly starting to like the idea of a little Whitney/Jeffrey running around conquering this crazy world we live in.  That being said, this adventure will be waiting... at least another year.

I am lucky to say that my parents and Jeffrey's parents have never pushed us in the direction of having children right away.. if ever.  Maybe it's because our siblings have had enough for both our families ;)  But I think they want us to live our lives doing the things we love.  Traveling, road trips, sports, nights out, quiet nights in.  All these things I love would be a little more difficult with a "bundle of joy" around.

I think the reason I am slowly liking the idea of kids though is because the past few years I have been living my life and slowly checking things off my bucket list.  Having experienced these small adventures made me realize how lucky I am to have the opportunities and one day I would love to share these experiences with a family.

California was a bit of a spontaneous trip.  I decided one day I wanted to go so I booked that day and we flew out less than a month later. Having nothing really planned as far as hotels and what not, we basically went off the "seam of our pants" and discovered Southern California in a little rental car driving up the Pacific Coast Highway.  In that one week I realized how lucky I was to have the life that was given to me.  I met some pretty chill people who live "simple lives" and love it.  All around me were people of all ages, genders, etc whose passion belonged to the sport of surfing.  This was something all the people in the small surfer towns we visited had in common.  Everyone was so nice and relaxed I never wanted to leave.  They look forward to that early morning surf that they describe as their form of yoga and meditation.  Better than coffee is how one person described it.  Surfing in these towns isn't just a sport, its a lifestyle.  Everyone has surf racks and boards on their cars and every house you drive by has at least 2-3 boards sitting out front.

Having only surfed a couple times before heading to Cali, I was in no way close to being good but that did not stop me from embracing the culture.  We rented boards every chance we got.  The thrill of that perfect wave when you finally get up and feel the push is exhilarating.  It really is like an escape from reality.

California and the people we met along the way taught me that life doesn't have to go so fast.  We really need to slow down and enjoy everything life has to offer.  Yes I may not be working my dream job but at least I am working at a place that allows me the time off to do the things I love.  Yes I live in an unfinished house, but weekends and week nights are filled with memories in return.  The "unfinished house" thing use to weigh on me but after getting back from our trip I looked around my house and felt grateful.  In some ways I like that the house is still "under construction" because it means we are living!  Living the life I always dreamed of!!

I found this quote on Pinterest and absolutely loved it.  I find that in life people tend to focus too much time and energy on the so-called "BIG things".  Careers, mortgages, money, etc... we stress about the big things and sometimes forget about the simple things in life.

Just the other day I looked at my student line of credit and thought, "How the heck am I ever going to pay that off?"  I had a mini panic attack but then after talking to the people close to me, they made me realize that, ya I may be paying this off for quite some time but, at least I am still able to do things and live my life.  Slowly but surely that line of credit will dwindle away but that doesn't mean stopping my life until it does.  

This past year I got to make some incredible memories with my favourite people.  I attended my very first Country Music Award Festival in Nashville, I travelled to New York City at Christmas time with my twin, I lived like a hippie for a weekend at the Gentlemen of the Road Stopover, and in two weeks I'll be renting an RV and surfing the coast of Cali with my boy.  I feel blessed to have these opportunities.  

But not only did I get to travel and see some of my favourite artists perform, I also have a lot of memories of the simple pleasures that I appreciate almost more.  Hammock cuddles with my best friend,  bike rides with the hubby at the cottage, Tuesday visits with my girl Erica out in Bluepoint, paddle boarding with new friends, watching my brother-in-law win the Canadian National in motocross, jet skiing at sunset, 11am visitors to my office, local concerts with my parents, outdoor movie nights with the family, dancing in the rain with my twin, rainy nights listening to records, swimming in the waves in Bright's Grove, long chats with my texan, playing outside with my nieces and nephews, and my list goes on.

Life is full of unexpected moments and unexpected memories.  Make sure you open your eyes wide enough to really appreciate those moments!  For its been said that what seems like the little things now, can be the big things later.

So as I end this post I ask that you mentally make a list of little things you need to do more of... Things that make you appreciate the life you were given.

Here is my list...

Things I want to do more of...

-admire the stars
-buy more flowers

-read more books

-swim in the waves

-nap in my hammock

-try new things (maybe kite boarding will be next)

-worry less

-yoga

-running

-cartwheels

-midnight swims

-wakeboarding
-girls nights in

-candy runs ;)

Flowers in your hair...

Gypsy:

noun (plural gypsies)

• 1 (usually Gypsy) a member of a travelling people with dark skin and hair, traditionally living by itinerant trade and fortune telling. Gypsies speak a language (Romany) that is related to Hindi and are believed to have originated in South Asia.

• 2 informal a nomadic or free-spirited person
  
  
  There is something about the Gypsy lifestyle that excites me... the thought of having no set plans and just flying by the "seat of your pants".  I sometimes feel trapped in this thing called LIFE.  Working 9-5 jobs, paying bills, and having to take vacations at a set scheduled time... just seems unfair.
  
  
  Yesterday I decided to join my parents at Sunfest in London.. something I have done since I was a very small child.  I walked around the festival and felt like I was in a dream world.  So many unique people, things, and food.  Everything from the sights, sounds, and smells excited me.  People watching here is like no other.  Men with longer hair then me playing the bongo drums, a yoga session in the middle of the park, a 10 piece band bringing the crowd to their feet... People drinking beer, smoking weed and being carefree... I felt like being here, not one person had a care in the world... at least in that moment.
  
  
  Maybe in a past life I lived a gypsy lifestyle.  That would explain my love for barefeet, my need for constant travel, and my fascination with different peoples and their cultures.  
  
  
  Having had a few close calls in my life, I have learned to really open my eyes and appreciate the things I have.  Although I have tons of school debt and really can't just take off and travel the world at this moment, that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy life being right here.  Going to small festivals like Sunfest, enjoying the company of my amazing family and friends, helping change the lives of people with disabilities, and moulding the minds of young children.  Just because I can't pick up and go whenever I please doesn't mean I can't enjoy the little things life has to offer and live with the same carefree mindset.  
  
  
  I have seen a lot of amazing people's lives end short.  We often think we are invincible and that nothing will happen to us but life is incredibly fragile and unpredictable.  We have to stop holding grudges, remember to tell the people you care about just how much they mean to you, and live your life doing the things you love!  
  
  
  I will probably never be a true "gypsy" but I can at least learn a little from their carefree lifestyle and be happy with what I do have and the life I was given!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Aloha Moana - - Hello Ocean!

I often wonder if in a past life I lived by the ocean and surfed everyday.  Surfing has been something Zoe and I have talked about since we were very small.  Our obsession with the ocean, having never been there until our 20's, was that of a fantasy.  Maybe it was what the ocean represented to us... almost like a fairytale.  Growing up we use to tell people we were Hawaiian and most believed us... our dark features and tan skin always raised questions of where we came from.  We never liked to wear socks and preferred bare feet.. still do to this day.

The first time we saw the ocean, we were amazed.  The smell, the taste, the waves.. everything about it was exactly as I had imagined.  I felt like I belonged there and I never wanted to leave.  Still to this day the beach is my absolute favourite place.  I feel that it is a place where I am most comfortable.. most relaxed.. most like me...  

Although I have only surfed a few times, it was something Zoe and I picked up quite quickly... the natural feeling of the wave pushing you forward and pulling you up.  It is so exhilarating.  Every time I got out into the ocean and surfed a wave, I felt infinite!  

I often think about moving someplace like Hawaii, buying a small house, opening a surf shop and living a simple life.  I would never wear socks again ;)  Surfing would become a daily routine and the ocean would be my safe haven.  

One of the things I love most about the ocean is how mysterious it is.  There is so much yet to be discovered and so many beautiful creatures live there.  I read somewhere that the ocean covers 71 percent of the Earth's surface yet more than 95 percent of the underwater world remains unexplored.  How crazy is that?  

As you know from reading my blog, I am a sucker for quotes and one of my favourite ones is: "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf!"  Life is crazy and unpredictable.  Shit happens that we can't control but having dreams, ambitions, and happy thoughts can help you get through the rough times.  

When life throws me lemons and curve balls I think of the ocean and what it represents to me.  If I had access to some gnarly waves when I was feeling stressed.. I feel like my troubles would disappear once I hoped on a board.  But because my life doesn't involve an ocean, the beach is the next best thing.  When I feel overwhelmed or stressed I sit in the sand and think.  For some reason, I always leave feeling refreshed and happier.    

So, next time you feel overwhelmed with the crazy "waves" in life, venture to the beach.  Listen to the water and just relax... Think about the life you are blessed with and the beauty of that moment will help you realize life isn't that scary after all!  

Heavy heart...

Today I decided I wanted to write a blog post.  I had a topic in mind and I was ready to just write.  But then I heard the tragic news of the Boston Marathon and I realized my venting over something so trivial was pointless.  My heart is so heavy for those involved.  Tragedy such as this one and the Newtown shooting really makes me question humanity and unfortunately my faith.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in God.. at least in some form.  But I question how a greater being can allow innocent people to be faced with such tragic events.

Children are the most innocent souls and deserve a chance to live.  They don't deserve to have their last memory be one of fear.

I know I say this ALL the time, but life is so unpredictable and so short.  Just the other day I attended a funeral to celebrate a life of a young man who got caught up in the evil world of addictions.  His life was taken from him too soon and right at the time that he was ready to get the help he needed.  It just seems unfair.

I've been trying to live my life doing all the things I love and with the people I love.  I have been trying to not get caught up in negativity and trying to stay positive.  Some days are harder than others.. especially when you hear of such tragedies.  But during these sad times, we have to remember the value of our lives.  Do we want to spend the last day in a fight with a friend or family member or being stressed out about something at work??

I believe that everyday we get to wake up, we are blessed.  Everyday we go to work, we are blessed.  Rain, snow, sunshine, no matter what weather, we are alive.

So I ask that anyone who reads this, remember how it is a privilege for you to be here right now.  Don't take that for granted.  Instead of stressing, be happy that you are living.

Don't get caught up in gossip, drama, and negativity.  It's not worth it.  People will talk, people will judge... It is up to ourselves to not let it get to us and not to get involved in it.  Don't allow anyone to control your life... you are the one behind the wheel.  Make sure you go in the direction that makes you happy.

Look out world!

Today I did something crazy, unpredictable, and totally spontaneous... I feel scared, excited, and liberated all at the same time.  This is the first step towards the rest of my life.  Goodbye negativity..  I'm ready to move on from you and start to make room for beautiful things! 

 Look out world!!  My dreams and ambitions are about to come true and nothing is going to stop me!  

People Watching...

It's Friday afternoon and as I sit at Starbucks working on a current project for work, I look around and can't help but get lost in it all.  People coming and going.. some in a hurry.. some ready to camp out for the afternoon like me.  People sitting solo daydreaming, some having business meeting, and others catching up with friends.

It's funny how a coffee shop is a place where people feel comfortable enough to meet and discuss intimate details in love, business, and relationships.  As I sit here, I overhear the man across from me talking on his cellphone and he is making a pretty big business deal... a $500,000 business deal.  After I hear his phone click, I see him get up and walk to his brand spanking new black Land Rover.  Curiosity gets the best of me and I can't help but wonder about this man, his $500,000 business deal, and the lifestyle he must live.

I find people so fascinating.  Ever since I can remember my mom use to bring my sisters, brother and I around in the car to "people watch".  Weird I know, but we LOVED it!  We use to make up stories of how we thought their lives were lived.  What they did for a living, what vacations they went on, etc.  Our favourite day to go was Christmas Eve.  We would look through windows and watch how each household celebrated the holiday.  I found it exciting and it always made me happy.  Happy to see the smiles and the excitement the holiday always seemed to bring.

Maybe this is why I went into Psychology, then Public Relations, and later teacher's college.  All three professions deal with the study of people.

As I grow up, I learn more and more about people and their behaviours.  Each of the three jobs I currently work allow me the opportunities to learn more and really understand behaviours.  At Community Living I deal with people with disabilities, their families, and employers.  At Boston Pizza, I get the opportunity to observe family and friends coming out and enjoying each others company.  And finally, while teaching I get to see where it all begins.  I learn a lot from these little humans.

Some days can be very challenging in the teaching world but these challenges are really what makes it worth it.

Because of my life experiences and the training I have been blessed to have, I have come to realize that sometimes a child who may show behaviours, may have no control over it.  This small person may have an empty belly or a mom that works her butt off to put supper on the table and therefore is hardly present.  This small person may not have the basic needs that each person is entitled to and at no fault of their own I might add.

Just because a person acts a certain way does not mean that this person is "bad".  They may in fact be struggling and this is their only way of asking for help.

I was very lucky growing up with the family I did.  That being said, it was not always easy for my mom and dad.  They struggled with money at times and had to ask for help when it got really bad.  My mom worked 50+ hours at minimum wage jobs while my dad tried finding a better paying job just to keep us a float.  I never went without a meal but my life certainly was not full of thrills and frills.

I believe I am the person I am today because of my life experiences from childhood to adulthood.  Everything happens for a reason and a life without struggle is fake.  No one can say that their life is and has always been a bed of roses.

My hope is that one day I can, with the help of my experiences, change the lives of children.  I know that you can only do so much but I hope I can at least save one life.  I hope I can make that life know its worth, realize their dreams and help them achieve them.

Everyone deserves a chance and sometimes they just need someone there to tell them THEY ARE WORTH IT!

Enjoy the ride!

The sun is shining today and my mood is 110% HAPPY!  Sometimes I wonder if I am a victim of seasonal affect disorder.  I hate to admit that because as most of you know, I LOVE WINTER!  But the reason I love winter so much is because one of my favourite hobbies involves snow... And because of a stupid surgery, I was given orders to take the season off from snowboarding...  So, if I can't board, then I am ready for this winter to be done with and for spring to arrive.

To be honest, I am ready for everything spring represents!  Regrowth and new beginnings.  Today as I was catching up on all my favourite blogs, I came across a post that made me smile.  Now, the post was sorta sad and showed struggle.. but the reason I smiled was because it told me that I am not alone.  That even the people I look up to who seem to have it all together, don't.. not always anyways.  I am always saying life is like a roller coaster and I truly believe this.  If you stayed on the Ghoster Coaster your whole life, what fun would that be?  We need to experience the ups and downs of the Millennium Force or the crazy twists and turns of the Wicked Twister to truly appreciate the life we were given. 

The blogger I mentioned above had taken quite some time away from the blogging world.  She was going through a tough time with work, relationships, etc. and took that time to regroup and refocus.  I realize now that the ups and downs in life are never going to go away.  And sometimes a little time to refocus is needed.. I believe this is the time we are recreating ourselves for the better.  

So if you are in a spot in your life where it seems a little crazy and you are feeling a little blue, know that you are not alone.  Everyone experiences this at one time or another.  But be the person that can learn from these experiences.  Learn from it and then put it in a bubble and blow it away. 

We are made to make mistakes.  If there was one way to live life then each person would be given an instruction manual.. and let's be honest, what fun would that be?

So to all you out there who have a bit of the winter blues, know that spring is just around the corner and there are brighter days to come.  Keep your chin up, keep smiling and enjoy the ride!

A day in my shoes...

People are so quick to judge others.  So quick to think they know someone when really they are only seeing what that person chooses to show.   A great quote I once read was, "Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes."   

This last year I was a different person.  A close friend told me that they use to look up to me and loved that I didn't care what others thought... They had felt that I lost that for a while.  To be fair, maybe I did.. but to be fair to me, no one has any clue what my journey has been over this last year.  I have overcome obstacles that not everyone is faced with and I have the scars inside and out to prove it.

This year has taught me a lot about myself and a lot about the people I want to surround myself with.  I love meeting new people and maybe I am too nice but I would never think that as being fake or dishonest.  It's who I am.  I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt because I don't know their past or the obstacles they may be currently overcoming.  Just because someone is smiling on the outside does not mean they aren't screaming on the inside.  Life isn't always easy.  We are all trying to figure it out and everyday we are presented with new situations, new obstacles... People deal with life and its ups and downs very differently.  But I feel that if you treat everyone you meet with respect and true happiness, you could change their outlook on life and help them overcome some of the obstacles they may be facing.

I met a man today who was picking out flowers for his wife.  He asked for my help in choosing what flowers to get.  He told me how lucky he was to have her in his life and that if he could afford to, he would buy her flowers everyday for the rest of his life.  My day went on and I went about my work.  At 4:15pm, I was called to front reception and there waiting for me was one single rose with a note that read," Thank you for listening!"  I learned from the lady who owned the flower shop that this man's wife had passed away almost a year ago.  I almost cried.  This small gesture made my day, week, month... I made somewhat of an impact on this life and in return, he did the same for me.  I may never see this man again but I will always remember the single rose that brightened my day.

Life is unpredictable and we don't know how we are going to react to the challenges we are faced with. It is not fair to judge anyone when you haven't walked a day in their shoes.  People react differently to challenges and its not fair to judge someone based on a reaction to a hard time.  We are all made differently so give people the benefit of the doubt.  I bet if given the chance to learn some people's whole story, you'd be surprised at how well they are doing considering...

So remember, life throws us curve balls once and awhile and sometimes a behaviour is because of this and not a true reflection of who a person is... People can go through phases where they lose themselves a little and that is ok...  As long as you have the support, the road back to you is always an option!

What will your legacy be?

I hate being too busy to write.  I have been finding it much more easier to send a fast 150 character tweet then to sit down and write a post... But I miss it so I told myself that today, no matter what, I was going to blog.

Last night a friend said to me that 2013 was going to be his year to "treat himself".  I like that... Why not allow yourself to be a little selfish and do the things you have always dreamed of doing.  The start of 2013 was a rocky one for my little community.  An amazing person's life was taken away from her tragically... But one thing she left behind was her love for everything life had to offer.  I knew her throughout high school and, as of late, in the schools as she was a teacher as well.  I can honestly say I NEVER saw her without a smile on her face.  She had a sincere love for life.  In this tragedy she has taught me and many others to live life with the same kind of passion she did.

I know I probably sound like a broken record when I say this, but life is too short and you really have no clue when your time is up.  What do you want to be remembered for?  I know that I don't want to be remembered as the girl who always said she was going to do things but never actually did those things.  I want to be known for adventure but also for being a good person and bettering lives of others.  So 2013 and every year after that, I am going to do just that!

I have always had the desire to see the world and after I ventured to Australia, that desire intensified.  There is a world of opportunities out there and I want to take full advantage of that.  I want to float in the dead sea, I want to snowboard in New Zealand, I want to volunteer in a school in Africa, jump out of an airplane over the Great Barrier Reef, surf the coast of Cali... my list could go on forever... Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting to old for these dreams but age really is just a number and you really are as young as you feel.

I can honestly say that I would live in a shack if it meant I could see the world.  I don't need flashy things.. I would prefer just a backpack with essentials, my health, and map of the world...

On top of adventure I want to better lives... I want to help children realize their dreams.. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this but I have some ideas... Let's just say Zoe and I have a plan in the works...

Noelle, in your tragic goodbye, you have changed my life and many others and for that I will be FOREVER THANKFUL!

So to all you that stumble upon this post, really think about how you want to be remembered... take that and go with it.. Life really is too short to sit around and wait!  LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!

Thank you Noelle!!!